I have to start somewhere and where better to begin then what is currently going on in my life?!
I am in the middle of a wind storm, shit show, gaggle fuck, hot mess, fuck fest. It’s awful.
If you all haven’t heard of the website, let me introduce you to SeekingArrangement.com.
Seeking Arrangement to me was always a safe place. When I was going through a three year separation and divorce from my ex husband, I turned to this site to find a relationship or relationships that had clear lines, boundaries and a certain safety to them. I highly recommend this site, I think for both the seekers and the one’s being sought. This is where I met The Doctor.
I will be brief in my introduction to The Doctor, as not to bore any of you with this dreadful part of my life. However, this man was a part of my life from March of 2016 until the recent month of June this year. This relationship also contributed greatly in my lessons on life, people, psyches and sexuality. I will revert to the experiences I had, and am still having, many times from now until the end of time.
Imagine a middle aged man with balding gray hair, standing about 5’10” and maybe 15 pounds over weight. We met one night on a whim. It was an evening in March of 2016. I was new to Seeking Arrangement but it was a kid less night for me and I was looking for something to get in to. The Doctor, come to find out later, had been stood up from another date that night and was too looking for something. We messaged on Seeking Arrangement and it was a no brainer, we would meet and see if there was any chemistry.
I allowed for him to pick me up; I know, I know… but come on, it’s 2018. I had two girlfriend’s tracking my location and I felt safe enough. I actually didn’t have any fear. You see Seeking Arrangement does what part they can in screening the men. You can decide on the level of screening you demand or are comfortable with. I felt confident enough, and we were in Knoxville. Knoxville, Tennessee. The Bible Belt. Either way, don’t worry I am still here to tell this story, so all was okay.
He picked me up in his blue Mercedes convertible. The license place read “Blessed”. (You can’t make this shit up) I wasn’t impressed, but that is neither here nor there. We went to a local restaurant here and talked as much as we could. We talked about our lives, where we came from, where we were, what we “wanted”. I know now, what a narcissistic sociopath this man was at the time, but in the moment I hadn’t a clue.
I always had a toothbrush in my purse. This was a slut trick you see. I was always prepared. I was prepared for anything.
He mentioned inviting me back to his “cottage” in a local golf community in the neighboring town of Lenoir City. I was up for the idea, but first we visited a local bar and I was a naughty influence with Fireball… or maybe he was the influence? I don’t really know, but that isn’t relevant.
We went back to his “cottage” after a few shots. The Doctor’s cottage was an over priced house in the lesser prestigious part of the development. It was for looks and reputation. I found later, he wasn’t even good at golf. I know, insert eye roll.
We had less than impressive, mediocre; fuck mediocre, bad sex. Let’s be real here. It was shitty sex with a half hard, half limp, 5″ dick. But you know what, the sex isn’t all an arrangement is about, so I was open minded. I imagined I could help this man. This man that was obviously made fun of through school and his adolescence. This man that I had found out, had been with less than a hand full of women and in a marriage lasting close to three decades. He complained a lot and talked negatively, but again I thought I could help. Psht.
I found he was an physician near middle Tennessee. He had a practice there and a couple of investment properties that had helped him become well off for sure. He found I was going through a traitorous divorce where my husband didn’t want me to divorce him, running my own business and had little time for a traditional relationship.
We drove home the next door after eating his attempt at making breakfast; a few over fried eggs, some burnt bacon and watered down coffee. I was going to build this man up! I was going to do good things for him and he was going to do good things for me; so I thought.
I remember he gifted me $1,000.00 as he dropped me off outside my little rental house, to spend on myself he insisted. He had ordered me my favorite pair of sunglasses from the Maui Jim website we browsed when I was at his house. We had already set up our next outing and had actually talked about months, and months to come. We had concretely planned our upcoming visit to Cherokee Casino together and talked about an upcoming concert we may do together. I had found the ideal arrangement in The Doctor. At least that is what I thought.